Hair -- Unproduced -- UPS

ANNCR: Bob likes comfortable shoes. So he invented some.
(SFX: Footsteps)
BOB: Mmm, these feel good..
ANNCR: Bob thought other people might enjoy shoes like his, perhaps in exchange for money. So from his home he opened a business called Bob’s Shoes.
(SFX: Flies)
ANNCR: Sales were less than brisk. Then one day Bob thought…
BOB: Maybe they’re not shoes. Maybe they’re an ambulatory ergonomic plantar support… system!
ANNCR: Sales took off.
(SFX: rocket, or slide whistle)
ANNCR: Bob had orders out the figurative ying yang. Which meant he needed shipping fast. And fast shipping.
(SFX: Abrupt vehicle stop. Truck cargo door)
ANNCR: Enter UPS – with pickup and delivery in the form of Bob’s UPS guy, Carl. For reliable shipping by air or ground -- to or from both hither and yon.
BOB: He’s my logistical transportation liasion…system.
CARL: Hey, Bob.
ANNCR: With UPS, Bob even enjoys convenient access at the desktop, dropboxes and UPS stores.
BOB: He treats me like I’m his only customer.
CARL: But for the record, we do have other clients, Bob.
BOB: (BEAT) So noted…Any of ‘em need comfortable shoes?
ANNCR: UPS. What can Brown do for you?